Size does matter(no matter what they say)

I am feeling a little guilty because I started this thing and then haven't published anything for months. I have an excuse. I really do. It involves cabbage and a knife that betrayed me...again. So anyway, my finger doesn't hurt as much to type with anymore, so I 'm back in action. I have vowed never to use that knife again, but, well its my favorite. I think I'm addicted to the knife. It is highly possible that the manufacturer of this knife used cocaine on the handle.
I am dealing with a very serious problem right now besides the fact that I will never have feeling in the tip of my pinky again. What is this insurmountable problem you may ask (if not you better be or I may think you just don't care). Here it is .......Small chickens!!!! I ordered chickens and they are small. They won't lay large eggs, and I don't think it is because they are underachievers. Wouldn't that be great. They could have unionized and since I don't understand their demands, they are laying small eggs. Anyway as you see I have looked at this from every possible angle, and I came up with the conclusion that they are just small. Now how do you prove that your chickens are smaller than average (bantam is the official terminology for an underachieveing chicken)? I thought about having them all line up in a row (using hypnotism of course!) and taking a picture of them to compare size (I have four regular size chickens and 1 small chicken) but will they expect some kind of compensation for modeling for me?
The company I bought them from told me to withhold their corn. Holy cow(holy chicken is more like it), did you ever see an angry chicken? Those kids rioting in Greece have nothing on my chickens.
So for now I will continue to ponder this question of how to prove your chickens are smaller than other chickens.